As if the Marcus Rashford story wasn’t already grim enough, a shameless and disgraced selfpromoter is here to make it all about himself.
I, Piers
Mediawatch has a few rules it likes to adhere to but it’s not always possible. One of those rules is ‘Try as hard as possible to ignore Piers Morgan’. It is a challenge Mediawatch often fails.
The disgraced journalist turned shameless selfpromoter has popped up again in The Sun to take full advantage of the Marcus Rashford situation and make it all about his very favourite subject: himself. He’s chosen the form of an open letter because of course he has.
In this open letter theoretically to and about Marcus Rashford, how many times does Piers use the words ‘I’, ‘me’, ‘my’ and ‘myself’? Twentysix. There are 26 references to himself in what is definitely a piece expressing concern about Marcus Rashford. Well, it’s at least 26. Entirely possible some got missed along the way. There are just so, so many and we glazed over by the end. Here are some of the choicest cuts.
It’s customary at such a turbulent stage of a Manchester United superstar’s career for them to sit down with me for a tellall Uncensored interview, as Cristiano Ronaldo did 14 months ago.
Is once, in entirely different circumstances, enough to make something ‘customary’? Not really. Is it enough for Piers to immediately shoehorn in an instant reference to his equally selfserving ‘concern’ for Ronaldo? Absolutely.
In fact, an Ipsos/MORI poll at the time revealed that the British public thought you (56%) and me (32%) were doing a better job of holding the Government to account during the pandemic than the actual leader of the opposition, Sir Keir Starmer (29%) or anyone else.
Frankly, we’re just surprised he put the actual numbers in.
My heart sank when I saw you splashed all over the front page of The Sun…
We are by now firmly and unironically in what Viz fans will instantly recognise as Tony Parsehole territory. I wept. I wept and wept and wept and wept and (there, that’s 500 words, invoice enclosed).
You literally have the world at your feet.
He literally doesn’t.
You’re now earning £300,000 a week, which works out at £15.6 million a year and a staggering £78 million over the duration of your fiveyear contract if you stay at United.
It’s enough to turn anyone’s head, and to fuel a selflove to Trumplike heights.
Bold mention of Trump and indeed even bolder mention of wealthpropelled selflove from a man who, apropos of nothing, once claimed on Twitter to have made $22m in a year.
It’s a great shame for you that Sir Alex Ferguson is no longer United’s manager.
He would have known exactly what to do, and how to do it.
The current manager Erik Ten Hag seems woefully incapable of doing anything but losing matches and publicly chucking his players under the bus.
We covered this yesterday. Who’s being thrown under the bus here?
Hold on, though, because it’s about to go really off piste.
You would do well to heed the warning of the tale of two young female singersongwriters born a few miles from each other in North London – Amy Winehouse and Adele.
Both had wondrous natural talent, but one sank into a tragic, selfinflicted spiral of drink and drug addiction that ended up killing her aged just 27, while the other is now one of the biggest stars in the world, and at the very top of her game.
What?
I don’t for a moment think you’ll end up like poor Amy.
That’s a relief.
And if you can’t find the right people to help you… give me a call.
As the father of three sons of 30, 26 and 23, all of whom – like their dad! – have had their wayward moments, I’d happily give you my uncensored advice, and I’d do it from a place of admiration for someone I still believe is a great guy at heart but who’s gone off the rails and urgently needs help to get back on them.
Don’t do it, Marcus.
Captain, it’s Wednesday
From the Daily Mail’s coverage of an inevitable yet cartoonishly obvious scam in which Liverpool fans are encouraged to donate money to what is purportedly a fund to pay for millionaire exfootballer and successful current manager Xabi Alonso’s flights to Liverpool, comes this puzzling line.
Life has been tough enough for Reds supporters in recent weeks after learning longtime manager Klopp will be leaving at the end of the season.
Recent weeks? We’ve doublechecked and can confirm it really has only been five days since Friday. It just feels much longer.
Ace Watch
Mediawatch has noticed a few examples of a returning old favourite recently. It truly gladdens the heart to see Ace Watch firmly back in the picture. Absolute belter from the Daily Star, here.
Liverpool ace ‘punches and elbows’ Man Utd rival – yet somehow escapes red card
The Liverpool ace in question is, of course, 17yearold academy centreback Luca FurnellGill. The punch and elbow happened in an Under18 game, a fact which, for reasons only of space and nothing else, the Star don’t manage to mention in either headline or intro.
Star watch
Sticking with the Daily Star, are we having Chris Sutton being described in headlines as ‘Sky Sports star’? Not sure we are having that, actually. Especially in a story about him discussing Marcus Rashford on a Daily Mail podcast.
As if the Marcus Rashford story wasn’t already grim enough, a shameless and disgraced selfpromoter is here to make it all about himself.
I, Piers
Mediawatch has a few rules it likes to adhere to but it’s not always possible. One of those rules is ‘Try as hard as possible to ignore Piers Morgan’. It is a challenge Mediawatch often fails.
The disgraced journalist turned shameless selfpromoter has popped up again in The Sun to take full advantage of the Marcus Rashford situation and make it all about his very favourite subject: himself. He’s chosen the form of an open letter because of course he has.
In this open letter theoretically to and about Marcus Rashford, how many times does Piers use the words ‘I’, ‘me’, ‘my’ and ‘myself’? Twentysix. There are 26 references to himself in what is definitely a piece expressing concern about Marcus Rashford. Well, it’s at least 26. Entirely possible some got missed along the way. There are just so, so many and we glazed over by the end. Here are some of the choicest cuts.
It’s customary at such a turbulent stage of a Manchester United superstar’s career for them to sit down with me for a tellall Uncensored interview, as Cristiano Ronaldo did 14 months ago.
Is once, in entirely different circumstances, enough to make something ‘customary’? Not really. Is it enough for Piers to immediately shoehorn in an instant reference to his equally selfserving ‘concern’ for Ronaldo? Absolutely.
In fact, an Ipsos/MORI poll at the time revealed that the British public thought you (56%) and me (32%) were doing a better job of holding the Government to account during the pandemic than the actual leader of the opposition, Sir Keir Starmer (29%) or anyone else.
Frankly, we’re just surprised he put the actual numbers in.
My heart sank when I saw you splashed all over the front page of The Sun…
We are by now firmly and unironically in what Viz fans will instantly recognise as Tony Parsehole territory. I wept. I wept and wept and wept and wept and (there, that’s 500 words, invoice enclosed).
You literally have the world at your feet.
He literally doesn’t.
You’re now earning £300,000 a week, which works out at £15.6 million a year and a staggering £78 million over the duration of your fiveyear contract if you stay at United.
It’s enough to turn anyone’s head, and to fuel a selflove to Trumplike heights.
Bold mention of Trump and indeed even bolder mention of wealthpropelled selflove from a man who, apropos of nothing, once claimed on Twitter to have made $22m in a year.
It’s a great shame for you that Sir Alex Ferguson is no longer United’s manager.
He would have known exactly what to do, and how to do it.
The current manager Erik Ten Hag seems woefully incapable of doing anything but losing matches and publicly chucking his players under the bus.
We covered this yesterday. Who’s being thrown under the bus here?
Hold on, though, because it’s about to go really off piste.
You would do well to heed the warning of the tale of two young female singersongwriters born a few miles from each other in North London – Amy Winehouse and Adele.
Both had wondrous natural talent, but one sank into a tragic, selfinflicted spiral of drink and drug addiction that ended up killing her aged just 27, while the other is now one of the biggest stars in the world, and at the very top of her game.
What?
I don’t for a moment think you’ll end up like poor Amy.
That’s a relief.
And if you can’t find the right people to help you… give me a call.
As the father of three sons of 30, 26 and 23, all of whom – like their dad! – have had their wayward moments, I’d happily give you my uncensored advice, and I’d do it from a place of admiration for someone I still believe is a great guy at heart but who’s gone off the rails and urgently needs help to get back on them.
Don’t do it, Marcus.
Captain, it’s Wednesday
From the Daily Mail’s coverage of an inevitable yet cartoonishly obvious scam in which Liverpool fans are encouraged to donate money to what is purportedly a fund to pay for millionaire exfootballer and successful current manager Xabi Alonso’s flights to Liverpool, comes this puzzling line.
Life has been tough enough for Reds supporters in recent weeks after learning longtime manager Klopp will be leaving at the end of the season.
Recent weeks? We’ve doublechecked and can confirm it really has only been five days since Friday. It just feels much longer.
Ace Watch
Mediawatch has noticed a few examples of a returning old favourite recently. It truly gladdens the heart to see Ace Watch firmly back in the picture. Absolute belter from the Daily Star, here.
Liverpool ace ‘punches and elbows’ Man Utd rival – yet somehow escapes red card
The Liverpool ace in question is, of course, 17yearold academy centreback Luca FurnellGill. The punch and elbow happened in an Under18 game, a fact which, for reasons only of space and nothing else, the Star don’t manage to mention in either headline or intro.
Star watch
Sticking with the Daily Star, are we having Chris Sutton being described in headlines as ‘Sky Sports star’? Not sure we are having that, actually. Especially in a story about him discussing Marcus Rashford on a Daily Mail podcast.